Some of the best meditation advice for beginners is to open your mind, don’t try too hard and let the meditation begin.
“I tried to meditate once, but I couldn’t do it. I just can’t seem to turn off my mind.” Does this sound familiar?
This may be the most common way beginners describe their first attempt to meditate. Even my colleagues in the spa industry—where people are passionate advocates for a lifestyle of holistic well-being and easily throw around words like mindfulness, zen and chakras—seem to struggle with meditation. No matter where you go, when you ask people about their experiences, you hear more stories of failure than success. So where is everyone going wrong?
There are a few mistakes beginners tend to make. First, they approach it with a fixed mindset rather than a growth one. Imagine sitting down at a piano for the first time and banging away at the keys. Would you then say, “I tried to play the piano once, but I couldn’t do it?” Of course not. Because playing the piano takes practice. And so does mindfulness.
The second mistake is to stress out when the mind won’t turn off. You are sitting comfortably, music playing softly in the background. In order to clear your mind, you focus on your breath. Breathe in… breathe out… breathe—oops, you just remembered an e-mail you forgot to send, which reminded you of three other things you were supposed to do today, and that reminds you that you really aren’t happy with your current schedule in general, in fact maybe you should rethink your whole career, and on and on, down the rabbit hole you go.
Contrary to popular belief, meditation is not about “clearing your mind.” It is less about preventing your mind from wandering and more about noticing when it does wander and returning your attention back to the breath. I like to think that the more your mind wanders, the more opportunities you have to bring it back, and the stronger your mind will become.
The third mistake is when people start with a session that is too long. Many are introduced to meditation because they attend a class or a workshop that includes a 30- to 60-minute session. The minutes wear on, and if the monkey mind doesn’t get them, frustration and boredom begin to set in. A better strategy is to start where you are. You think you “can’t” do 30 minutes? How about 5? Start small and build from there.
I find these three reminders help me to keep it simple:
1. Just breathe and relax. Thoughts may come. Thoughts may go. Just check in from time to time and make sure you are still breathing and still relaxed.
2. You can’t go wrong. There is no such thing as “doing it wrong.” Just sit and do nothing and see what happens. Give yourself permission to do nothing for a few minutes every day. Your mind will thank you for it.
3. Incorporate it into your day. It’s not always easy to schedule time for a dedicated meditation practice, but there are opportunities for mindful moments everywhere.
Don’t “try” to meditate. “Trying” implies that you will either succeed or fail. All you have to do is practice. And by practicing, you will have succeeded.